If you are a cancer survivor you may be hunted by the bully hyenas because you are vulnerable, pre-occupied and therefore not alert to their presence or just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It may just be outright discrimination, 'don't like you, you're not like me (a hyena), you're something else, a gazelle, warthog or something!'
Or despite health issues or recovery, you may be a lion, still strong, loyal to your pride, faithful, honest and principled. It is all the same to the hyena.
The targets of bullies often feel shame. They cannot believe they are a target, I learned this lesson myself. However, make no mistake, bullies can target anyone especially people who they believe are getting in their way or making them look incompetent.
There is ample evidence that bullies are self interested, often ferociously ambitious and often full of guile. Like the hyena, they will not give up and their ultimate goal is your destruction and elimination. You are in their way!
Having cancer shrouds you in a mystery that also terrifies some people. Yes, there are still people who are scared of people with cancer. In my case I was seen as an inconvenience to efficiency and too much paperwork. Like the hyena bullies view the target not as human, but as a thing that needs to be struck down.
I am no expert and have no idea exactly what the psychology of a bully is, but there is ample material and books on the subject of what motivates the bully and it seems to be mostly self-interest and personal pleasure.
If you believe you are being bullied or have been bullied, you have been disorientated and discombobulated by the bully. You will be bemused like I was and left asking, 'why me?'
Asking 'why me' is not really a valuable exercise as it could be any reason, hyenas don't discriminate when it comes to prey.
You will not be able to plan, think straight or act if you are already on the ground with your leg in the hyenas mouth. It is most important therefore that once you are aware you are being bullied you first and foremost think of your health and wellbeing, even if that is the last thing on your mind. Even if you are in fear of losing your job or your financial security you need to think of yourself.
Self care is absolutely imperative now. Be kind to yourself, do not beat yourself up, try not to over analyse or blame yourself . Bullying is as bad as other forms of abuse in my opinion. It is abuse and it is important that you recognise this fact. It is not your fault!
IT IS NOT MY FAULT!
Take the therapeutic road. At this moment your self love and self confidence is key. At your worst moment you will need to find that strength of character to tackle the bully and your health. What you decide to do will be informed by what is right for you. Websites like bullyonline.org have heaps of information on what you may CHOOSE to do. It is your choice. Do not let the bully take control. Seize back your life and pull your leg out of the bullies mouth. If you are a gazelle you may choose to run. If you are a lion you may choose to fight. There is no right or wrong way, but remember you have choice and you have control, that is the way to survive. You may not necessarily be unscathed, the bully may well have taken a big chunk out of your confidence and well-being. In the meantime, the important thing is that in taking back control you minimise the damage, can lick your wounds and heal.
This article is not advice and cannot compensate for professional advice. If you are being bullied it is wise to seek advice from an appropriate professional to find out your rights and see to your health.
Belle (author)
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