Saturday, 12 December 2015

Tip of the week. Reframing your identity

When you are bullied at work one aspect of it may be the attack on your identity. In counselling especially in Rogerian person centered approach, much is concerned about the masks we wear and how congruent or genuine we are. At work we often wear masks and in some cases ones identity can become significantly, if not inextricably bound with our work. Work may give us financial success, expertise and pride. We may wear special work clothes which give us a sense of belonging. We may, when asked what we do say, doctor, lawyer, secretary, administrator. How often do we say, friend, funny guy, joyous lover of nature??

When we are bullied our work-identity may feel stripped away. Our reliance on who we are at work is under threat. Who we are at work may be a big part of who we think we are. However, ask yourself this question. Is this my real identity, or one that I have developed over years of work? Is it a mask or a facade? Is my real identity something much more complex than worker, successful suit, expert!

Am I also family guy, friend, lover, child within, artist, willo-the-wisp and and many other things I may have forgotten. I am the sum of my parts and more than just my job.

I am unique and I am important, there is no one in the world like me. My identity and who I am is worth something to others and to me. Finding your real self may help with answers such as, is this a place I really need to be. Do I have other options, is this what I really want?

Being bullied is not your fault take a load off and breath.

We are not experts and this is just our opinion but counselling and other talking therapies may help you rediscover yourself if you feel you need to re-find yourself and rediscover your identity. See your GP for free options or BACP for registered practitioners.

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