Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Is Money - The elephant in the room?

Yes money.  The elephant in the room!

What is your relationship with money? Have you ever thought about it? Do you feel that without your job, you would not survive to pay bills and other outgoings? Do you think that those thought are really accurate?.....

When you are being workplace bullied, fear is a significant and compelling factor in what you can do to mitigate the bullying and whether you can leave your job. Many a bullied person's first point of call is, "how can I leave I need the money.". Losing money terrifies us! The fear of the loss of money can tie us to many things that we do not want. Understanding, the psychological impact of this is the beginning of having an adult relationship with the tool that is cash!

Our relationship with money is linked closely to emotional issues, such as being like your peers, having the latest gadgets, status and other peoples opinion of you. What is your reality? Only you know and you need to be honest with yourself.

Try not to underestimate the psychological impact of money.  Your personal relationship with money will be informed by your experiences in life. Remember money may represent loss, depression, joy, extravagance, revenge and love. In your relationship with money you may hear your parents, friends, family, your social status and even your clergyman in your ear.

The way to look at your relationship with money is to get perspective. Understanding the relationship can allow you to take personal decisions from a position of control.

1. Is your need for your salary an excuse, when the real issue is fear of change. Could you leave your job but are afraid to do so. (See our blog on intelligent job searching)

2. Is your salary really worth the stress? What do you earn? Could you earn the same or more elsewhere?

3. Could you take a move across or up within your existing company to remove yourself from the bullying without sacrificing your entire salary?

4. Is there equality of salary in your organisation? Are you being undersold? (Research your salary Payscale, Glassdoor




5.There is clear evidence that after a salary satisfies your basic needs the rest is frippery. Could you live more frugally or go part-time?

6.Following on,  higher salaries do not breed happiness, job satisfaction breeds happiness. Is money the real reason you are staying? Analyse why you are loyal to a bad manager, bullying co workers or that toxic company. Are you in a rictus of inaction,  for which money is not the chain that binds, but rather that you are institutionalised.

7. Is your job a vocation? In which case are you torn for other reasons that are not linked to money?

8. Do not underestimate corporate advantage taking. Is your salary a good reason to stay when others are vastly better remunerated? Does your organisation value staff in an unequal manner? http://bullyonline.org/old/related/fatcats.htm

9. Get your debts and finances in order. Take back control to tackle bullying (moneysavingexpert.com communities)

10. Get counselling, coaching or impartial advice, so you can get an objective view of your relationship with money.

11. Is money a security blanket for you. Does money represent your personality as a risk taker or safety player?

Money is extremely important to some, if not all of us, but it is merely a tool, a means to an end. In deciding how money might chain you to a toxic and unsatisfying job, you may want to think about the story of the mythological King Midas. He was the king who gained the ability to turn everything he touched into gold. Eventually the food he tried to consume and the water he drank hardened to gold on his lips. Wealth became his prison and his curse.

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