Sunday, 17 April 2016

Bullied? Have you ever made a Zen space?


Sometimes it is almost impossible to relax after a day of hell at the job.

"Do not forget as you read this that there is lots of practical and recovery information in the body of this blog and this article is but one of many strategies to fit different people and different stages of bullydom. Some of our articles are quite heavy and others light so there is variety and differing levels of depth for the reader." 

We were inspired by a twitter photo of a lovely Zen room on @zenandom, to talk about making a space just for calming yourself down. We do believe here at Cancerbullied that the route to recovery and taking back control from workplace bullying,  is made by making a determined effort to calm the chattering mind. The mind left to its own devices can chat a lot of negative and unhelpful jibber-jabber. It is time to take control of your thoughts for a while and get the sub-concious to shut-up for a bit!


Making a calming space for thinking, pondering and meditating is a great idea and it can be as little or as large as you like. It could be on top of a bureau, on a bedside cabinet, in a shed, outside in the garden, on a balcony or even in a whole room. We know several people who have Zen'd their bathroom.

It need not cost the earth. You could place little trinkets that mean something to you. Pieces of memories, old jewellery, beloved photos, beads, twigs, dried flowers,stone,  ornaments such as small buddhas, or artefacts, a painting or poster, in fact anything you like. It could be animals, deities, statuettes, religous icons of your choosing, nice art pieces. We love Gauguin and Van Gogh posters. You may like to have chimes outside, bells you can ring, smells, for example, a  scented stick or scent candles ** Stones piled on each other look great. 


Such things can be found a thrift shops, ethnic shops, charity shops, antique shops, shops like Wilko and B & M, hobby craft shops, markets and boot fairs and by the beach or even in your garden. The list is endless. You can gather twigs, flowers, pine cones stones, shells etc all free. It may even feel therapeutic to search out things for your Zen space.

You can place your meditation and thinking things on a nice peice of paper or cloth, you could use wall paper cut offs, nice scarves, pretty cut outs of material or a nice piece of polished wood or attractive surface, perhaps even a tray. It is your space so creativity is key.

You may want candles as they give off a lovely relaxing aura. ** If you are outside you may light a little fire or some barbecue coals.** Firepits can be bought cheaply from DIY stores such as B & Q**

Your thoughts can be as you please. Of family, friends, dreams, lovely memories, pets, holidays,beaches, tropical islands, fantasy worlds, space......Or....nothing at all.

We like fantasy things like unicorns and faeries. However, such a space should be determined by who you are and can be as feminine or as masculine as suits.


When you go to this place you may wish to think out loud, or think quietly, say affirmations, read from books, novels or travel books are great. You may simply breath and meditate. It is all down to you.

The space should encourage positive and calming thoughts. You may wish to play restful music such as you would hear in a spa. We love as it provides gongs, singing bowls, bells and all sorts of imaginative music.

This space should be yours alone and one where you can go to for a few minutes to as long as you please. 


If negative thoughts creep in, just let them flow and go over you and steady yourself back to calmness by concentrating on the patterns, pictures and objects around you, on the sounds, smells or even tastes. This is where reading out loud or concentrating on breathing can come in handy, some people like to hold an object such as a piece of fur, or beads,  smooth stones, polished wood, anything which has a sensory touch. If you feel the thinking is not coming back to the positive, go away and come back later.

The idea is to occupy the senses, if possible all senses including smell and sound, even if the sound is in your head. You can even immerse yourself in touch and if you wish taste. 


There is no reason at all why you should not have something nice to taste, such as a fragrant tea, green tea, fruit tea or chocolates, turkish delight or anything you associate with calmness. 

Do not beat yourself up if you only get a short period of calm, just come back to it time and again. Go away if it feels too emotional or odd. Then come back when you wish to feel centered and positive or calmed , a little each time until it grows.

Do not go there in your work clothes, but change into something comfortable and if possible colourful, as colour can lift mood.


This is another great and imaginative idea for helping recovery froM the stresses and strains of that job. Creativity is the route to optimism.

Let us know if it works for you!

This is your space, your escape, your diversion. 

The Cancerbullied Team

**Ensure you apply safety considerations to any lighted product  and they are best place inside a vessel for the purpose. Do not leave candles or any lighted thing unattended especially fire and observe outdoor fire rules and regs and any rules attached to your BBQ, fire pit or any other vessel. Never leave a lighted fire unattended and make sure it is properly put out. 

For optimum safety you can now buy battery operated candles very cheaply, or use a night light,

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